Keep Shining When the World Wants to Dim Your Light
When I was a kid, my favorite family activity was camping. I had my own little bunk bed, there were kids galore to meet and play with, and my dad cooked some killer pancakes and eggs on the griddle.
I was 10 years old, peddling my purple ten-speed around the campground, singing a sweet new Paula Abdul song, I vividly remember a couple of teenage girls pointing and laughing at me.
I stopped singing immediately and was scared to ever do it again.*
***Now though, no one can stop me from singing to 90s on 9🎤 or pretending I know the words to my daughter’s favorite Tayor Swift.
Don’t worry! I have reconnected with singing on my bike with my own kids when we camp ❤️🎶 Do you remember when those scowls were powerful enough to make you choose to lock up your joy, not laugh, not skip, or not do the thing that was bringing you joy? How about in adulthood?
Maybe, like me at one of my old part-time jobs, you were the friendly one at work, always offering a smile and a "good morning," only to be met with grunts and slammed doors. Did you stop going to work with your natural cheer?
We've all been there, those moments when our inner sunshine feels completely out of place in a world full of rainclouds - sometimes the storms were strong enough that we changed ourselves to fit in.
As women, especially those juggling motherhood, careers, and the never-ending to-do list, holding onto kindness can feel like a superpower. It's easy to get discouraged when the world seems determined to dim your light. But here's the thing, sisters: that light within you? It's precious, and it matters.
When the weather is fair, all is good, but when storms pop up, how can we hold onto our peace and joy?Today, we're going to talk about how to keep shining, even when the weather forecast looks bleak; even when there is the possibility that people will shun you or get mad.
The Secret to Keeping Joy and Peace
It’s not going to be easy, but I promise it’s totally worth it.
Let's be honest, there are days when clinging to positivity feels like trying to hold down the ice shanty in a blizzard.
I remember that time the kids were bouncing off the walls because instant frostbite weather warnings kept us indoors, the dog ate my favorite socks and barfed them up (again!), and my boss was 👏in 👏a 👏mood.
How do we keep that inner light glowing, even when the world seems determined to extinguish it? Beyond my home and when I’m out in the real world, when I’m faced with negativity, overwhelming pressure to follow other people’s behavior, or when having “fun” is really just an excuse for gossip, anger, or animosity, how in the world do I stay true to myself? It can feel so isolating and lonely - two of my biggest fears.
When facing confrontation or being strong in the midst of negativity, remember that "even a small light can fill a dark space." -Miep Geis Here's a secret I wish I learned sooner: when I abandon my values, that negativity becomes a black hole, sucking the joy out of everything around me including my children’s light, my husband’s excitement to spend time together, and my desire to do things that I need or want to do.
If I focus on fostering an environment of understanding and compassion, where everyone can thrive, maybe I can promote harmony, respect, and kindness, steering away from negativity, inappropriate conduct, or actions contrary to my faith.
The Good News
I’m not alone in this fight for inner and outer sunshine. As Christians we believe that we are to treat everyone with lovingkindness, we have a beautiful reminder in Matthew 5:14: "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden." Our faith teaches us the importance of radiating kindness and compassion, no matter the circumstances.
Here's another beautiful truth: our positive attitude has the power to influence others more than you might think.
Just like magic - smiling and kindess are contagious Maybe that grumpy acquaintance finally cracks a smile because of your unwavering cheerfulness.
Perhaps a child, witnessing your kindness, starts to treat others with more compassion.
It might not happen overnight; little by little, your light will chase away the darkness.
As I write this, I feel doubt creeping in of whether or not I’m actually capable of being a light. Doubt is from the enemy. After I paused my writing to pray because the doubt was making me want to run from this task, the truth from the Holy Spirit came to my heart and here is the truth:
I am so grateful that I have had a positive impact on people - I can think of five specific adults and at least a dozen children in who my light has helped them turned on theirs, even if it was just for a brief minute. And more and more keep popping into my mind!
Who have you given light to in your light that needed some extra sparkle, even if it was just for a minute? Give it time and I’m sure you’ll think of more and more like I did.
Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Science even backs this up! When we choose kindness, even in the face of negativity, we create a ripple effect of positivity.
Anger is quick, easy, and contagious. However, Lovingkindness is more contagious. It does take time to develop, though, so I am vowing to be dedicated to helping it grow and manifest in my world so everyone around me can feel the light. Research has shown that acts of kindness can actually boost the happiness levels of both the giver and the receiver.
Studies show that negativity can be contagious, leading to a phenomenon called "compassion fatigue." But guess what? Kindness is contagious too!
When Your Light is UNwanted
Remember, beautiful souls, you are a beacon of light in this world. Don't let anyone dim your shine. Stay true to your values, keep spreading kindness, and watch the world change, one smile at a time.
I’ve had times when my positivity, kindness, leadership, integrity, and drive to succeed straight up ticked people off. In church a few months ago, our pastor said, “Jesus is rejected for many reasons and one of the biggest was because he shines light on things that people would rather keep hidden.”
😯🫨
The majority of the time, my positivity is well-received and often reciprocated. However, I struggled for a long time to understand why it wasn’t sometimes, or why I was treated poorly for doing things right.
While journaling on the same day that our pastor mentioned being rejected because of light, I realized something about my past:
I accidentally made some people realize that their behavior was somehow not what they wanted it to be, and they became afraid, angry, or defiant. I became their punching bag, a target, someone to dislike, change, or manipulate. I’m telling you this even though it’s hard - every hit has brought me to tears. I couldn’t understand why until the Holy Spirit shared this revelation with me and I need to share it with you.
The only explanation I can give for getting up to smile another day, to compliment, to care, to try, to show up despite my chest feeling like it was being crushed was because God needs people like you and me to shine, to demonstrate, to be steadfast in our hope.
Even when people treated me horribly though I did nothing wrong - and was only seeking the best for everyone - it was important not to retaliate. Evil cannot win over evil.
Being kind, patient, and consistent after trial or confrontation was not easy! I relied heavily on the teachings of Christ to keep my anger in check. And I’m so glad I did.
A parent once tore me apart in a nasty email, challenging my professional abilities and personal attributes because she was afraid to recognize her child’s disabilities. Two years later she came to a meeting and publicly apologized for her behavior and spoke so highly of my personal and professional aptitude that I cried. She couldn’t imagine where she and her child would be without my steadfast dedication to education and kindness.
It took two years of holding steady to my values, and patience (which I am so not good at) to finally have the light win over her fear and darkness.
People may respond in surprisingly angry ways when we do what's right. Hold steady and know that the Holy Spirit will help you get through. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 perfectly captures the essence of lovingkindness: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor other people, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Working in a high-energy output career, all that patience, kindness, truth-seeking, trust, hope, and perseverance can make me very tired. Tired makes me want to give up. However, just like in a difficult workout, recovery is key so you can accomplish your goal.
Perseverance in the Wake of Exhaustion
Remember, mama, you can't pour your soymilk caramel latte into someone else’s from an empty cup!
Through my journal, more than any other activity, the Lord has shown me how to trust Him, establish balance, and make a habit of gratitude. Take time to journal and reflect on your true goals and how you want to achieve balance and goodness in your life.
Remember, it's okay to say "no" sometimes, to carve out quiet time for yourself, and to politely distance yourself from negativity vampires. You may need to eliminate some unnecessary commitments in your life so you can focus on the biggest goals.
My husband explained this perfectly when we were bike shopping: If you buy a bike that is capable of doing lots of things like commuting, gravel, trail, and beach, it’s impossible for the bike to doing any one of those things really well.
Eliminating some things (crafting hobbies) has helped me be better focused on the things that matter most in this season of my life (maintaining healthy joints). It’s not all gone forever but it’s just set aside until I can do it well again.
Self-care isn't selfish, it's essential. Whether it's a sunrise hike with your dog, an intense workout session (Les Mills is the best!), a relaxing bubble bath or fire with a good book, or simply spending time in quiet prayer, take the time to replenish your spirit.
A Lovingkindness Challenge
Are you ready to join me in a lovingkindness revolution, sisters? What can we do to re-energize? Here are some simple ways to cultivate kindness in your daily life:
Be a compliment machine: Start noticing the good in others and offering genuine compliments. You'd be surprised how a kind word can brighten someone's day.
I heard you… That outfit… I see you got… Are you happy with how… Congratulations on…. I can see that you tried… I love how you…
Spread random acts of kindness: Leave a surprise note for your spouse, do one of your kids favorite activities for the day, or volunteer at a local charity.
Start a gratitude practice: This has been personally and scientifically proven to enhance feelings of joy! Take a few minutes each day, preferably before your feet even hit the floor, to reflect on the things you're grateful for. Or start a journaling habit; writing it all down is even better. A grateful heart is a happy heart, and a happy heart shines bright!
Prayer/Journal Prompt: Take some time today to reflect on your own inner light. What unique gifts and talents do you have to share with the world?
1 Peter 1:11 teaches that the desire to fit in with the world wages war against my soul. That’s why, after a gossip session, you may dread returning to the group that pulled you into their negativity. Peter continues to tell us how to remove the dread - by behaving in excellence, integrity, honesty, and kindness, we can be excited for the day we get to meet God; we can be excited for opportunities to do what is right because it leads to more joy than we could ever imagine.
How can you use your light to bring more joy and kindness into the lives of those around you? How can you overcome when negativity puts up a fight either directly or indirectly? How can you stay shiny today, my beautiful friend?
